i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
