No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize