You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
