Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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