You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
