I could have mohawked her pubes.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
