He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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