Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
