i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
