Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
