I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
