It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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