Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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