Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize