I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
