Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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