Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
handjob tips. give me some.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
