First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You pole danced in your parka.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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