Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Houston, we have a squirter
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
