Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
