You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Randomize
