I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
