Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
