wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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