Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my shit smells like andre
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
