grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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