I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
you made out with another girl for some wings
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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