Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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