You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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