I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
