Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize