Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
