I wanna bring you to show and tell
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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