She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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