Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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