Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize