dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
