I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Randomize
