I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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