Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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