So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
