Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I have fence marks all over my body
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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