we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
