1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
