Already got asked if we're dating
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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