Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
