After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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