Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
