I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so let's talk penis.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
