no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
