so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
