Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
