You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
