If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
