I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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