i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
