how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
