So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
