apparently the secret to your success is patron
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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