You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
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