mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
