I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just want to make out with him forever
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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