I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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