just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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