Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
