Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
